Busy Bad, Busy Good

Today’s guest post is by Jamee Tenzer, author of “Balance Your Work and Family Life with Less Stress and More Fun! A Coach Me Quick Guide for Working Moms.” Jamee is a professional certified life coach for working mothers and women in the entertainment industry, and former talent and executive producer in the television industry. She is both funny and practical, and her writing resonates
with real moms and women trying to balance multiple roles. For one week only, Jamee is offering readers of Hip Mama Media this fantastic book for free. Click here for this special offer  and type in hipmamamedia as the password to get your free book. You will not be disappointed.

Have you ever found yourself thinking “I am just too busy!  I have too much to do.  I am overwhelmed, underpaid, stressed out and not enjoying any part of my life, ever!” I too, find myself feeling that way from time to time.  It feels like everything is a burden, everything is hard, and I am not enough.

My clients go through these periods also, and I’ve shared many tools with them to help them shift perspective and ease the process of being too busy.  It’s a fine balance though.  We like to have enough to do, but not too much to do.

Like a dessert soufflé, being busy can be divine, but if we get the ingredients wrong, we may watch it crumble before our eyes.  So what is this phenomenon of “too busy?”  How can we begin to take smaller bites and enjoy the contents of this soufflé for what they are?

One way is to adopt “busy bad to busy good.”  Let’s say, you look at your day, and you have so much to do that you can’t imagine how you will get it all done. Let’s face it; its busy bad.  Now start to take apart your day.  What are you busy with?

Lululemon Athletica/Creative Commons

Are you running to pick up your kids?

Are your kids a gift in your life?

Do you have to go to the gym?  Why?  Does this make you feel better about yourself in the long run?

Do you have to pack for a vacation, buy a new dress for that party or hire a babysitter so you and your husband can go out? Is this something that you are looking forward to?

In other words, is some of your “busy” actually “busy good”?

If we can start to separate busy bad and busy good and see the tasks in life that lead us in the direction we want to go, we will lessen the burden of “busy.”

Here’s a thought that one of my absolutely fabulous clients (I learn so much from the insights my clients share with me!) sent me today about “busy bad to busy good” related to a diet that she is on:

“Regarding Busy Good Busy Bad.  I’m not sure why, but this simple little thing has really been a great jumping off point for my attitude in general.  I realized that I was really having a victim attitude related to this diet I’m on which has recently become increasingly restrictive.  But then, I realized what a great opportunity it is to be healthy and take good care of my body.  I’ve been trying to tell myself that all along.  But I noticed that I still need to be paying attention to my attitude.  One way is to look at it using busy bad to busy good.  It is simple and snaps me back to the positive.”

Coach Me Quick! Tips for Being too Busy

1. Where are you too busy in life?

2. List three tasks you have today or this week that are causing you to be busy.

3. When you look at those tasks, are any or all of them supporting commitments that you have made to the people you love? Which ones? How?

4. Knowing the connection between the tasks you accomplish and the activities you participate in might shift your perspective about being busy. Are there any tasks that used to be in the “busy bad” category that you could now shift over to the “busy good?” If so, which ones? 

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